White nights
by Sssilver.Lady
Summary: Demons are easier to chase away when you are not alone. Or how the Avengers became family.


It's starts simple enough. Ever since the serum Steve doesn't need as much sleep as before so he can live with 4 or 5 hours a night (7 if he's really really tired). Those hours shrink whenever he has a nightmare and ok those aren't as rare as he likes to portray. But it's fine. He's fine.

Except when he's not. And he wakes tangled in his sheets, sweaty and breathing like he just ran a marathon.

The silence in his rooms is stifling and he knows sleep is not going to come again so he stands up and goes to the common room. Turns on the lights and the TV and lets the sounds wash away the nightmare.

(he has a TV in his room but it's easier because this way he doesn't feel so alone)

This becomes something of a routine. And at first he's alone but then Tony comes and crashes on one of the couches. Neither of them say anything.

Steve doesn't mention that sometimes, sometimes he was awake and he couldn't move, couldn't feel anything, the cold enveloping everything and Tony never mentions that when he closes his eyes he sees the blast of the nuke filling the darkness of space. That he remembers the moment the arc reactor stopped working and his heart struggled to beat. He doesn't mention that he still sleeps (when he passes out from exhaustion) with the lights on because it was always dark in the cave.

They don't mention these things but there is a companionable silence while they watch whatever crap show is on at the moment.

The next to join them is Clint. Clint who everytime he closes his eyes all he sees is blue (and sometimes he sees blue even when he's awake). Clint whose only nightmare these days is watching himself kill everyone he cares about while being powerless to stop it.

Neither Tony or Steve mention anything when they see Clint flinch subtly whenever something blue catches his eye.

Surprisingly, Bruce is next. Bruce who only dreams of waking up surrounded by chaos and bodies or sometimes when it gets really bad he dreams of being forever stuck as the other guy. He doesn't know which is worse.

Natasha joins them after a particularly bad mission. Or more like she's already curled on a love seat when Steve comes in. She doesn't acknowledge them. Doesn't even look up from the tv. Just sits there, staring blankly, seeing whatever demons haunt her.

They spend a lot of nights like this. During the day Tony and Clint bicker like a pair of teenagers and sometimes Steve joins in while Bruce and Natasha watch amused while the tower comes to life. During the day they can forget their demons and can brave them better when the sun is shining.

But when the night comes there is no bickering, no science talk but now the silence doesn't choke them anymore.

Thor comes back from Asgard on one of those nights. It's the first time his age shows in his eyes, he looks grim and tired and he doesn't say anything. Doesn't greet them, just takes of his cape and armour and joins Steve on the couch.

At first they are scattered through the room. Still not trusting enough, outside of battle, to really lower their guards but soon they all gravitate towards each other. Steve, Tony and Thor claim a couch, all awkward angles of limbs, elbows and pillows. Bruce sits in front of the couch tangled in a comforter, still not comfortable with long touches but some nights he lets Tony run a hand through his hair, grounding him. Reminding him that they are still there, that he's not alone. That he's still him.

Clint and Natasha choose the love seat, legs tangled and their shoulders touching.

After really bad missions they don't even try to go to sleep. They just shower, grab something to eat and curl around each other in silent support, trying to chase the nightmares away.

After Sam joins the Avengers it takes him a while to understand why he can't sometimes find any of them in their rooms. He joins them at first with tense shoulders and sits primly in an armchair, trying but failing to look completely relaxed.

But he soon begins to relax around them and the next time they meet in the common room he sits next to Bruce on the floor, shoulders not quite touching but there, using Steve's bicep as a pillow.

Following the fact that Bucky is alive means that Steve can pretty much kiss sleep goodbye and for a few nights the only ones who keep him company are Sam or Natasha.

When they finally find Bucky and bring him to the tower Steve is so exhausted that he crashes spectacularly and sleeps for nearly 20 hours. He wakes up to the moon shining in his face and with a sigh he goes to the common room.

He stops in the doorway because Clint is braiding Natasha's hair whose braiding's Thor's. Tony and Bruce are hunched over a tablet looking at something. And Bucky, Bucky is laid on the couch watching the TV curiously, metal arm under his head while his flesh arm is used as a pillow by Sam.

Steve just stands there for a moment and watches them smiling softly because sometime during the last few months the team, this team, that was at each others throat in the beginning, is now family. And for the first time in what feels like years Steve can finally say he is happy.

So with a shit eating grin he steps into the room and jumps over the couch landing on Bucky's legs who starts swearing up a storm and Steve laughs.

He is home.

 **A/N: So Civil War ruined me and this came to me just as i was falling asleep.**


End file.
